1 Mei 2013 :: Rabu
dengan rasminya rumah aku di Pasir Gudang dijual.
Rumah aku membesar dari kecil sampai umur 21, tinggal di situ, kenal dan belajar erti hidup di situ, sekarang dengan rasminya bukan tempat aku lagi. Memang kalau nak ikutkan pun, aku dah pindah ke Kelantan sejak 2,3 tahun lepas lagi.. Tapi selagi rumah tu tak dijual, kadang- kadang aku dan keluarga aku masih ke sana, melawat abang aku yang tinggal kat sana.
Memang hati terasa sayu.... even, minggu lepas pun, aku ada balik kampung. Dari Penang, sampai Kelantan hari jumaat, esoknya sabtu bergerak dengan mama dan abah ke Johor, dan Ahad malamnya aku gerak balik ke Penang. Jauh- jauh datang dari utara, ke pantai timur dan kemudian ke selatan, memang semata- mata untuk tidur satu malam kali terakhir dekat rumah yang penuh kenangan.
Malam tu, sambil baring mengadap ceiling atas, sambil termenung, while tears on my eyes, I realized how time flies so fast.. how everything had changed.. how now I had grew up.. and I looked at myself for what I had became... not only things changed, but also myself had changed. then I smiled to myself and wiped away the tears, and then I came to a conclusion that, even after so many things had happened, how my life had moved from one place to another, yet.. no matter what, deep down inside, the "girl" inside of me is the same, and will always be there... and I remembered what my dad once told me, when I was having a rough time, he said, "don't worry my dear... no matter what happen, always be yourself, don't ever change it..". then I smiled again, Thanks Allah, for not letting me to lose myself again...
I may lose the house, I may lose people, well, that's how the life goes on, everything is temporary... It somehow has to end somewhere.. and at the end of the day, only memories left behind.. but I'm grateful, at least I don't lose myself to be drowned by the feeling of losing... I'm wide awake now, and I couldn't wait for the next plan of Allah for my life! :)
